Emotionally, i easily felt frustrated this few days. It isn't the normal me anymore. And many thoughts cross my mind and i just feel to make some decision to get myself out of all the things. But it is right to do this? it may lead to unpleasant feeling in the future. I am wondering what cause this? It is too much work load? tiredness? mentally stress? hatred? or simply not enjoying what i am doing? I feel like suffering cognitive dissonance too. I'll talk about it next time.
Let's see what is frustration about. Frustration is an emotional response to circumstances where one is obstructed from arriving at a personal goal. The more important the goal, the greater the frustration. It is comparable to anger and disappointment. Sources of frustration may be internal or external. Internal sources of frustration involve personal deficiencies such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations that prevent one from reaching a goal. Conflict can also be an internal source of frustration when one has competing goals that interfere with one another. External causes of frustration involve conditions outside the person such as a blocked road; or conditions linked to the person's actions but not directly such as lack of money, or lack of sexual activity. In psychology, passive-aggressive behavior is a method of dealing with frustration. According to N.E. Miller "frustration produces instigation to a number of different types of response, one of which is an instigation to some form of aggression."
The symptoms of frustration is to avoid responding in ways that intensify rather than ameliorate the problem. The main point to remember is that the affected person is often not in a rational, problem-solving frame of mind and is, therefore, not attuned to the "facts" or to logical procedures for dealing with his situation. Some frustrated people need to be guided back to "reality". They cannot be reasoned with in their present mental state. Listening with understanding to such a person is one effective way to reduce frustration. Talking to a sympathetic listener provides a way for him to vent his feelings and regain control of himself.
Well, how do it related to decision making? Decision making can be regarded as an outcome of mental processes (cognitive process) leading to the selection of a course of action among several alternatives. Every decision making process produces a final choice. If the mental process is not fuction rationally, how can we make a wise decision? How can we think in a true and fair state? So, i'll say we cant make a choice when we are frustrated, but sharing your feeling will help to clarify some situation where we can have a new perspective to look at things, to know how the others think about the same issue. Give some time to the mind, rest and stay calm to think back before making the final decision. By this time, the consideration shown by the other party will make an important role and this may totally change the situation.
Here, sharing some tips on how to handle frustration, which will be useful to myself and who is needed.
1. Ask Yourself, “What Is Working in This Situation?”
There's something that’s working and that will give you a clue of what direction to focus on.
2. Keep an Accomplishments Log
The log will help to highlight where you were the most effective and where you need to work harder.
3. Focus On What You Want to Happen
Go back to the big picture. It doesn’t offer a solution to the problem. The important thing is knowing the answer to the following two questions:
- What do you want to happen differently this time?”
- What do you need to do in order to get there?
4. Remove the “Noise” and Simplify
When you’re trying to solve a problem, you can get so wrapped up in trying to find a solution that you add unnecessary clutter, noise, and tasks to a project because you thought they “might” be a solution.
5. Multiple Solutions
You always have options. You just need to brainstorm and figure them out. Just knowing that you have lots of options will help to make you feel better.
6. Take Action
As Thomas Edison said, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up” and “Surprises and reverses can serve as an incentive for great accomplishment.”
7. Visualize a Positive Outcome to the Situation
See yourself achieving your desired outcome. What will it look like? What will it feel like? What will you say? How will you feel? Take the time to visualize it and really feel it.
8. Stay Positive
Sometimes, things seem much worse simply because we’re tired or mentally drained. Taking a break and remembering to keep your sense of humour can help. A positive mind is far more open to solutions and answers than a negative one that thinks it’s just “hopeless” and thinks “what’s the use?”
Cool? Thanks to http://www.life-with-confidence.com/frustration.html.
Before i end this topic today, there are some great quotes about frustration i had found.
Frustration is the compost from which the mushrooms of creativity grow. (Tumerica)
Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we seem to lack but one thing. (Eric Hoffer)
Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe. (Sumner Redstone)
Cheers~
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
An Hour lecture with Master Student
Yesterday, Mehan invited me to join his executive class at the Graduate School of Management(GSM) in UPM. It is the first chance i ever had to enter the lecture hall of the master student, of course i will grab this priceless opportunity to experience the difference between the degree level lecture and the master level lecture. Thank You!
It is a very nice experience. To me, it is somehow differ from the normal lecture i had attend. The students who are curious about any point being said will raise up their hands without hesitation to ask for an answer. If in my classes, the lecturer ask whether we have any question, the floor will remain silent. That's indicate no questions we want to ask. But most of the time, the fact is that we need an answer for the question that is in our mind.
During that hour, i learned some new knowledge about the economic system and the public holidays system in Malaysia. I will say, the lecture touched on more current or corporate issues, and the maturity level of the lecture is definitely higher. However i miss the presentation part of the master students. According to what i have been told, i can learn more on their presentation and that is the time we can know the quality of the master student. I really wish one day i can join for the whole lecture, to learn how to present my ideas in a more mature way, and to learn more knowledge that i am lacking of.
It is a very nice experience. To me, it is somehow differ from the normal lecture i had attend. The students who are curious about any point being said will raise up their hands without hesitation to ask for an answer. If in my classes, the lecturer ask whether we have any question, the floor will remain silent. That's indicate no questions we want to ask. But most of the time, the fact is that we need an answer for the question that is in our mind.
During that hour, i learned some new knowledge about the economic system and the public holidays system in Malaysia. I will say, the lecture touched on more current or corporate issues, and the maturity level of the lecture is definitely higher. However i miss the presentation part of the master students. According to what i have been told, i can learn more on their presentation and that is the time we can know the quality of the master student. I really wish one day i can join for the whole lecture, to learn how to present my ideas in a more mature way, and to learn more knowledge that i am lacking of.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Remote Viewing
My brother, Joe share with me about his finding on a few topics. All are related to human mind power, the ability of our mind to make things happen - fast and fullfilling our dreams, desires or needs.
One of the things that i never heard of is this one, remote viewing. I'm sure many of you will have the same thought with me at first. Is this relted to television programme? No. Then what is that? Below is some brief explaination/concept of it:
Remote Viewing (RV) refers to the attempt to gather information about a distant or unseen target using paranormal means or extra-sensory perception. Typically a remote viewer is expected to give information about an object that is hidden from physical view and separated at some distance.
Remote viewing is a fancy name for telepathy or clairvoyance, the alleged psychic ability to perceive places, persons, and actions that are not within the range of the senses. If a "beacon" is used to send psychic images, it is said to be telepathy. If no beacon is used, then it is clairvoyance.
Remote viewing is a kind of psychic dowsing. Instead of a twig or other device, one uses psychic power alone to dowse the entire galaxy, if need be, for whatever one wants: oil, mountains on Jupiter, a lost child, a buried body, a hostage site thousands of miles away, a secret meeting inside the Pentagon or the Kremlin, etc.
It is somehow related to the Hundred Monkey theory. The “Hundredth Monkey Effect” is a supposed phenomenon in which a learned behaviour spreads instantaneously from one group of monkeys to all related monkeys once a critical number is reached. By generalisation it means the instant, paranormal spreading of an idea or ability to the remainder of a population once a certain portion of that population has heard of the new idea or learned the new ability. The story behind this supposed phenomenon originated with Lawrence Blair and Lyall Watson, who claimed that it was the observation of Japanese scientists.
resources taken from,
http://skepdic.com/remotevw.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundredth_Monkey_Effect
One of the things that i never heard of is this one, remote viewing. I'm sure many of you will have the same thought with me at first. Is this relted to television programme? No. Then what is that? Below is some brief explaination/concept of it:
Remote Viewing (RV) refers to the attempt to gather information about a distant or unseen target using paranormal means or extra-sensory perception. Typically a remote viewer is expected to give information about an object that is hidden from physical view and separated at some distance.
Remote viewing is a fancy name for telepathy or clairvoyance, the alleged psychic ability to perceive places, persons, and actions that are not within the range of the senses. If a "beacon" is used to send psychic images, it is said to be telepathy. If no beacon is used, then it is clairvoyance.
Remote viewing is a kind of psychic dowsing. Instead of a twig or other device, one uses psychic power alone to dowse the entire galaxy, if need be, for whatever one wants: oil, mountains on Jupiter, a lost child, a buried body, a hostage site thousands of miles away, a secret meeting inside the Pentagon or the Kremlin, etc.
It is somehow related to the Hundred Monkey theory. The “Hundredth Monkey Effect” is a supposed phenomenon in which a learned behaviour spreads instantaneously from one group of monkeys to all related monkeys once a critical number is reached. By generalisation it means the instant, paranormal spreading of an idea or ability to the remainder of a population once a certain portion of that population has heard of the new idea or learned the new ability. The story behind this supposed phenomenon originated with Lawrence Blair and Lyall Watson, who claimed that it was the observation of Japanese scientists.
resources taken from,
http://skepdic.com/remotevw.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundredth_Monkey_Effect
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Great Quotes
1> A "NO" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "YES" merely to please or worse to avoid trouble. (Gandhi)
2> "when i let go of what i am, I become what I might be." (Lao Tsu)
Somebody remind me that the "truth" will set me free, but first, it will piss me off!
Since i back in UPM, the normal busy routine life begin. Almost every night i got different meetings, almost everyday i just spend little hours in my room just to sleep, almost every time i am asking myself what is the point of doing this? Am i learning? Or just wasting my time? Sound like i lost myself in the battle fighting over mental tiredness. Maybe this is an attitude problem. Anyway, life continue. I will do my part as best as i could. Those wondering is just a break time for me to gasp some free air.
Back to the first quote. Sometimes to say "YES" is difficult, especially when we are asked to do things that we are not actually willing to do it. But to say "NO" is much more difficult than "YES because of many reasons such as do not want to hurt others feeling, do not dare to reject that particular people or try to avoid trouble of saying no. I guess many of us have this kind of experience. It take a lot of courage and need lots of bravery to choose any alternative given to us, and thus to say "YES" or "NO" to those options given. Sometimes is really hard to determine what we want in our life, but holding on our own principles will definitely let our life have more laughter and we live happier. What is my principles? To stay happy and enjoy every moment in each beautiful day.
It is quite confusing when i see this quote. When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be. But i like this very much after i thought a few times about it. Just imagine, if i can let go of myself at this point( what i am currently), that i am not a student who are studying accounting now, then i might be doing something different like taking other courses or working on some fun stuff; i might have become the person that is the true me suppose to be. In another thought, imagine i wish to become an artist or novelist instead of an accountant in future, and i am brave enough to let go what i have and what i am now to start a new life, i do can become the one i wish i might be. To me, it is as well as when we are facing the most troublesome situation, we can let go of it and restart our life...reborn to become what you might be. Have i confuse myself? Or i have confuse you?
The matter in my mind now is to find out what i want to be; how i want to be in future and who is the person deep inside my soul before i can let go myself to change from an ugly caterpillar to the pretty butterfly!
Hope all of us have a good think about all the great quotes that have a profound and deep meaning. Enjoy and cheers for the day ^^
2> "when i let go of what i am, I become what I might be." (Lao Tsu)
Somebody remind me that the "truth" will set me free, but first, it will piss me off!
Since i back in UPM, the normal busy routine life begin. Almost every night i got different meetings, almost everyday i just spend little hours in my room just to sleep, almost every time i am asking myself what is the point of doing this? Am i learning? Or just wasting my time? Sound like i lost myself in the battle fighting over mental tiredness. Maybe this is an attitude problem. Anyway, life continue. I will do my part as best as i could. Those wondering is just a break time for me to gasp some free air.
Back to the first quote. Sometimes to say "YES" is difficult, especially when we are asked to do things that we are not actually willing to do it. But to say "NO" is much more difficult than "YES because of many reasons such as do not want to hurt others feeling, do not dare to reject that particular people or try to avoid trouble of saying no. I guess many of us have this kind of experience. It take a lot of courage and need lots of bravery to choose any alternative given to us, and thus to say "YES" or "NO" to those options given. Sometimes is really hard to determine what we want in our life, but holding on our own principles will definitely let our life have more laughter and we live happier. What is my principles? To stay happy and enjoy every moment in each beautiful day.
It is quite confusing when i see this quote. When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be. But i like this very much after i thought a few times about it. Just imagine, if i can let go of myself at this point( what i am currently), that i am not a student who are studying accounting now, then i might be doing something different like taking other courses or working on some fun stuff; i might have become the person that is the true me suppose to be. In another thought, imagine i wish to become an artist or novelist instead of an accountant in future, and i am brave enough to let go what i have and what i am now to start a new life, i do can become the one i wish i might be. To me, it is as well as when we are facing the most troublesome situation, we can let go of it and restart our life...reborn to become what you might be. Have i confuse myself? Or i have confuse you?
The matter in my mind now is to find out what i want to be; how i want to be in future and who is the person deep inside my soul before i can let go myself to change from an ugly caterpillar to the pretty butterfly!
Hope all of us have a good think about all the great quotes that have a profound and deep meaning. Enjoy and cheers for the day ^^
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Economy Crisis
If we have the right perceptual filter, and know how to turn threat into opportunity, w can survive when the economy is down. How do we survive? How do we turn threat into opportunity? How can we value we have the right filter about all the situation around us?
All this questions go to one answer. If god closed a door, he will open another window for you. But the only matter is we need to work a little bit more to find the hidden window. Once we found it, we'll have the idea to continue what we should have do. Salary is not the very most important thing to value a job security, instead what we can learn to pre-occupied ourselve to be in a better post in future should be the main concern for this moment.
So, good luck for all job-seeker and employee. Work hard to prepare for economic boom!
All this questions go to one answer. If god closed a door, he will open another window for you. But the only matter is we need to work a little bit more to find the hidden window. Once we found it, we'll have the idea to continue what we should have do. Salary is not the very most important thing to value a job security, instead what we can learn to pre-occupied ourselve to be in a better post in future should be the main concern for this moment.
So, good luck for all job-seeker and employee. Work hard to prepare for economic boom!
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